There are many things I am passionate about, but there are many things I am totally unconcerned about. The economic crisis is and example of this side saying that the other side is wrong, and vice versa. To be honest, there is not a party system that will work for this country, because they are dividing our nation incorrectly.
If you really want to win an election, divide the parties into male and female. Everyone knows who would win. Most women do not want to run for office, because, in the long run, it doesn’t really matter. Women have been running everything on Earth for so long, a title just would not impress us. Continue the pretending, and someone else can be called President.
Most of the time, women are the ones wiping asses, noses and tears. We are trained and it exists in most of our intuition to take care of defenseless creatures as babies. Most of the time, it’s women that are holding the dying person, nurturing and caring for them. The male nurses in this country are rising, and now at a mere 6%. It is not because the opportunity does not exist for males, but it is not as natural. In our country, only 3% are male homosexuals, and of those men, only about 12% are parents. Nurturing can take place in either sex, but women have the statistical percentage down pat. Our natural roles are to be caregivers.
If politicians could easily win elections if they put an emphasis on the female voters. It doesn’t matter if they are poor or rich, conservative or liberal, married or single, old or young, and cross all color lines. If there was a clear speaking sincere person, running for office, interested in the woman’s point of view, the election would be a incredible landslide.
So, if this is so clear cut, why hasn’t anyone figured this out yet? Because most of the politicians running for office are men. They care about titles, power and telling people what to do. It’s how the world has been run for many thousands of years, and will probably continue. They are the starters of war, rulers of most lands and controllers of most businesses. There is no changing, nor denying, the basic instincts in either sex.
As far as titles, women have many titles we are known by, including the bullshit about changing our name when we marry. Additional notation: we also have to change from Miss to Mrs. - men get to keep Mr. forever. We have so many titles, the list would be endless to cite here. Men have Dad (only if they are an active participant) and whatever they do for a living.
We don’t want the same power that men seek either. We have the power. Men just don’t realize it yet. We are the ones making the economy go up and down, and if you don’t believe me, look at the statistics on what items a woman purchases versus what a man purchases. We tell you where to live, how many kids, where we send them to school, what you should wear, don’t wear Old Spice, zip your zipper, tie your shoe, change your tie, hit the toilet this time, blah, blah, blah. This list is endless too. We control everything! If you don’t believe this, ask your mother, wife, girlfriend, sister or daughter.
Which brings us to what a politician’s campaign promises would be to clinch the female population in the voting booth. Here are just a few items to get our attention:
One of the most important promises would be to tell us we are appreciated. This one is overlooked by most every man, in every profession. The only time I’ve publicly heard a general thank you to all women was from a parish priest during a homily. Pretty sad, that the only man to say it aloud, is unmarried and celibate, but not surprising.
There has been, at least, one day in your past that a woman has wiped your ass, and God willing, that day will come again. Be nice to women. It’s really not that hard to figure it out. After reading this, if you still can’t figure it out, run for office.
P.S. I apologize if I’ve offended any loving man here. It will not be long before I am ratting out my own species.
If you really want to win an election, divide the parties into male and female. Everyone knows who would win. Most women do not want to run for office, because, in the long run, it doesn’t really matter. Women have been running everything on Earth for so long, a title just would not impress us. Continue the pretending, and someone else can be called President.
Most of the time, women are the ones wiping asses, noses and tears. We are trained and it exists in most of our intuition to take care of defenseless creatures as babies. Most of the time, it’s women that are holding the dying person, nurturing and caring for them. The male nurses in this country are rising, and now at a mere 6%. It is not because the opportunity does not exist for males, but it is not as natural. In our country, only 3% are male homosexuals, and of those men, only about 12% are parents. Nurturing can take place in either sex, but women have the statistical percentage down pat. Our natural roles are to be caregivers.
If politicians could easily win elections if they put an emphasis on the female voters. It doesn’t matter if they are poor or rich, conservative or liberal, married or single, old or young, and cross all color lines. If there was a clear speaking sincere person, running for office, interested in the woman’s point of view, the election would be a incredible landslide.
So, if this is so clear cut, why hasn’t anyone figured this out yet? Because most of the politicians running for office are men. They care about titles, power and telling people what to do. It’s how the world has been run for many thousands of years, and will probably continue. They are the starters of war, rulers of most lands and controllers of most businesses. There is no changing, nor denying, the basic instincts in either sex.
As far as titles, women have many titles we are known by, including the bullshit about changing our name when we marry. Additional notation: we also have to change from Miss to Mrs. - men get to keep Mr. forever. We have so many titles, the list would be endless to cite here. Men have Dad (only if they are an active participant) and whatever they do for a living.
We don’t want the same power that men seek either. We have the power. Men just don’t realize it yet. We are the ones making the economy go up and down, and if you don’t believe me, look at the statistics on what items a woman purchases versus what a man purchases. We tell you where to live, how many kids, where we send them to school, what you should wear, don’t wear Old Spice, zip your zipper, tie your shoe, change your tie, hit the toilet this time, blah, blah, blah. This list is endless too. We control everything! If you don’t believe this, ask your mother, wife, girlfriend, sister or daughter.
Which brings us to what a politician’s campaign promises would be to clinch the female population in the voting booth. Here are just a few items to get our attention:
- Outlaw pantyhose. No further explanation needed, unless you’ve never had to wear a pair of these blasted things. If you have never had the pleasure, I suggest trying it just after shaving your legs when you get out of the shower.
- Do not make us pay for Midol, Pamprin, Advil or any other pain relievers. The smartest Federal Health Care Plan idea yet. Think hard about this one, boys, before you laugh.
- Send each child in America to work on a mission trip to a third world country for two weeks while they are 12 to 14 years old, and this should be mandatory. Not only would this stop the ungratefulness, and give parents a two week break, but would probably make a huge leap for poorer nations. The philanthropy and kindness would carry on for generations to come.
- Any man convicted of abusing a woman or child, in any way, should have a toe whacked off. Try to explain that when you’re jumping in the sack with a girl.
- Give women an incentive for being a housewife, and put the dignity back into taking care of man, kids and home. Make it a proud profession again, instead of a shameful “I’m a stay at home mom” thing. Bullshit! These women should be praised much more than our society is giving them.
- Every OB/GYN and mammogram technician MUST complete 50 hours of courses on compassion, and two hours on how to warm your instruments.
- Change the unwritten rules of society, like having a woman’s blouse, size 10, cost twice as much to get dry cleaned than RT’s XXL shirts, with TWICE the cloth.
- We do not want coupons for toilet paper or fabric detergent. We want coupons for manicures, wine and chocolate. Subsidizing these items to poor women, or women with more than two children or two husbands. It could be paid by the federal government, sort of like Cash for Clunkers, except we could call it (manicures) Mannies for Nannies, (wine) Consign the Wine or (chocolate) HER-SHE. Again, think about it before you laugh.
- Instead of a blood test, to get the couple ready to marry, the bride’s birthday should be tattooed on the groom.
- Football, baseball, NASCAR races and all other sports need to switch spots with the daytime soap operas. Women can lay on the sofa every weekend, catching up, while the man sets the DVD during the week.
- Passing gas in public, in any form, should be outlawed, and considered pollution.
- Mandatory hearing aids for men at the age of fifty.
One of the most important promises would be to tell us we are appreciated. This one is overlooked by most every man, in every profession. The only time I’ve publicly heard a general thank you to all women was from a parish priest during a homily. Pretty sad, that the only man to say it aloud, is unmarried and celibate, but not surprising.
There has been, at least, one day in your past that a woman has wiped your ass, and God willing, that day will come again. Be nice to women. It’s really not that hard to figure it out. After reading this, if you still can’t figure it out, run for office.
P.S. I apologize if I’ve offended any loving man here. It will not be long before I am ratting out my own species.
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