DO YOU HAVE IT ?

Modeling agencies and talent scouts know of the “It Factor”. It is that special talent, quality and beauty that will sell, sell and sell some more. It’s different for me. The “It Factor” is difficult for me to describe. When I’ve shared it with people I know, I can rattle off examples of people we know that have “It” and the ones who do not have “It”.

“It” is a sense of nostalgia, family or even sometimes melancholy. It’s the person at the family reunion who begins talking about a lost loved family member, then others will chime in with their memory. It’s the one who will step out of their life’s path to help someone close to them, because they understand the pain or anxiety of that person. Our family is mixed quite well with people who have “It” and people who do not. The people who do not have “It” are the strong, quiet ones. They are, generally, the ones who like every single note and rest in the music, but may not listen to the lyrics, because they are uncomfortable with mawkish words. They are the stronger and braver ones, who quietly and independently fight their fights, without too much help from anyone. It’s not a bad thing to have “It” or not have “It”. “It” is just there or not there.

We need both kinds of people at different times in our lives. A family member whom has “It” can choose a song for a wedding or funeral. They are the ones who send the notes or make the calls to someone that is ill or out of sorts. They are the ones who apologize to keep the peace. The ones without “It” can see the business at hand and the work that needs to be done. These family members know how to chip in to complete the job and do not need to be told to begin. They work hard and see the straightforwardness in life, heading straight down the line.

To realize who has “It” and who doesn’t have “It” has helped me tremendously in the best way to handle issues that come up. A nudge to another to do the right thing, or maybe give a little consolation to another family member. It has also helped me understand the ones without “It”, and try to see the situation from their logical angle. It almost always helps me see their point of view. And when I explained this “It Factor” to a few other family members, it was clearly seen with examples of who does and does not have "It".

The best of both worlds would be to be both, and only have “It” when you need “It”. There are some who have to use “It” in their work, like priests or ministers, whom also have to run a staff and church. People who head charitable organizations or foundations must be both. They have to streamline people and resources so money isn’t wasted, while giving and helping others.

I have “It”, but RT does not. I know my ex does not have “It”, yet The Boy and The Baby do have “It”. RT has said he wants “It”, but doesn’t want to follow up with the actions needed to retain “It”. : ) Having “It” comes with responsibilities and many follow through procedures. You have to be willing to go to someone at the drop of a hat, because life’s crap happens at inconvenient times. I am the one who cries for others, where RT wants to fix it to make it better. The Boy and The Baby know when I expect them for a family function. They both have “It” so there is never an argument if one of us is down. The other two nurture until the winds die down.

So we continue to teach each other about ourselves, hoping for some kind of understanding or logic. Love travels blindly through our traits and faults, and when we unconditionally accept all of them, happiness is very close.