I gladly chose to turn the big 50 early this year. Celebrations begin June 25th and will continue for a few days at the Hyatt in New York City. The best part is whose coming with us. It won’t be difficult to keep the food and alcohol flowing, but stamina is another story. Six people, about the same age, taking on the city - away from jobs, businesses, kids and responsibilities.
Going back to NYC is exciting for me. For nearly two years, I spent every other week in this town and though it seems exciting, it wasn’t when I worked there. Friends cringe when they think I gave it up, because I was paid to drink fine European wine and eat. But it was so exhausting in so many ways.
I know the best risotto in SoHo, the best cannoli in Little Italy, the best pub in Hell’s Kitchen, and I’m willing to share this information. The memories of this trip versus previous trips will be quite different. I won’t have to worry if there are not enough wine glasses, if the ink on the labels are smudged or bent, if the waiter pours in the incorrect order, the cork isn’t left for the host, blah, blah, blah. I will not be taking any notes or negotiating more chairs with a restaurant manager. I will not be getting others’ opinions on what they’re drinking, except maybe a funny slur from one of my awesome friends.
: D
I chose NY because of my familiarity with the city, and because I do not want to cater and clean up after one of our parties. Having a reputation for wine tastings and parties at the house, with me being the chef, I am afraid the celebration’s guest list would get out of hand quickly. It will be easier host to this event, because this city never fails to amaze everyone. It will be a long ass birthday party.
After a few more details, the countdown will begin, in many ways. Now that the details of the trip are in place, I am beginning to fret about turning 50. The last birthday that really bothered me was 24, and I’m not sure why. It was just a difficult one for me. So after an additional 26 years, why would 50 be scary?
Some say 50 is middle aged, but that is pure bull shit. I seriously doubt I will live to be 100, so it certainly ain’t in the middle. I’m on the downhill coast to death. YUP! That’s it! Fortunately, cancer has given me a morbid sense of humor when it comes to mortality. I have faced all those horrible questions about the kids, last will and testament and the estate. Any extra years I can squeeze from the insurance company statistics are pure icing on the cake.
I’ve also taught myself to live like there is no tomorrow. Illness has helped me greatly change my thinking around. No longer do I care what people think, or who is pissed at any given moment. I’ve learned not to let the little things bother me, or to worry so much about the future. I care about people, whether I know them or not, and whether they like me or my family or not. Working towards leaving a better world behind has become more important to me than a manicure or designer clothes, or how I am portrayed by others. Good or bad, wrong or right, I am trying hard to love everyone, without cynicism, and give them the opportunity to love me. It’s the most difficult task I’ve taken on, but so far, has been well worth the extra efforts.
Other than the ostentation of a trip to New York, this birthday will be spent with people I deeply love and care about, in one of the most fun cities in the world. With mixed emotions about getting older, I will try to be optimistic. I will become a member of AARP proudly, and demand my discounts.
Next stop may be Paris at 55.
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