STUPID LITTLE MONKEYS

I know a little innocent five month old baby who passed away two days before Christmas. There is very little explanation, though they think it was from SIDS. Everyone has been asking the infamous question "WHY?"

God gives us miraculous life. To experience life from the true beginning, and to go through the anxiety of pregnancy, a woman realizes many things. Hope, worry, curiosity, love (among many other emotions) are all felt to the nth degree. Even our smell and tastes are more acute. No good mother can or needs to explain it to another mother, as it is all mutually understood.

To think of this new life within us as a miracle is an extreme understatement. We've done very little to be in this state, and God's magnificent plan takes over. We see it, we feel it, we sense it - every step of the way, but we always know it is His plan of creation, During pregnancy, we do not take credit, but give the credit of life to Him. We can not explain this miracle of life He has given us, but we know He is there, embracing our child and helping her grow within us.

When the birth arrives, again, it is different for every woman. Every mother has a different birth experience, with hopefully, the same healthy outcome. The life of an infant, so desperately needing us, and yet another wonderful thing happens instantly to us. The nurturing and love overwhelms us, with the incredibly fast realization this child needs to be taken care of and taught. We physically take over God's plan and begin to raise the child, getting from Him unknown strength we never realized we had within us. Very soon, we confuse ourselves and think we are now in control over this tiny new life.

Some may differ from my opinion, but the miracle continues when we pass from this Earth and are Heaven bound. We just don't know how the miracle continues yet. The grandfather was asking the typical questions, when he was looking for an explanation of his beautiful granddaughter's death. He brought the subject up that we only use 10% of our brains, and he wished he could use more of his percentage, to try to understand what was happening to his family, and to give them an intelligent reason for their pain. He is yearning for the answer to ease his and the broken hearts of everyone of his family. Why would God do this to us? Why would He take such an innocent baby from us? Why would God take the happy point of our lives and make us so feel so abandoned by Him?

God has a plan, and as the Deacon at the service told us, it seems like such an easy excuse to use in a situation like this. This answer just doesn't seem to cut it when you are in such a deep pain. We compare ourselves to God, yet we are so incapable. God has given us just enough civility and brain function to confuse us. Being intelligent humans does not make us God, nor does it make us in control. We are not God, but we certainly act like it. We think we know what is best for us. We think when we're happy, we deserve it, and happiness should last forever. If it doesn't, God is the easy target to blame. It's never anything we have done to deserve sorrow, but it is always God's fault. He pulled His wrath and He laid it upon us. It becomes easier to use God as a scapegoat during these times. We try to use our intellect as reasoning for the Truth of God. If there is no evidence in our human minds, then we reject God. This is where faith and intellect could separate us from Him.

To understand the horrific times in our lives is to realize we are just stupid little monkeys. We do only use a small portion of our brain. We think it is us in control, when we are not. We think we know about the universe and we understand the entire reason for life, but we don't. We have tsunamis, hurricanes, war and horrible things around this planet. The pollutants, the killings, the sin of money and power and the unbalanced weather could not be any of our fault. We blame God. It is easy to do and if enough people say it with conviction, we just may begin to believe it. It's nice to know that us stupid little monkeys are able to blame Him when horrible things happen to us, then He forgives us so easily. We don't know why He allows bad things to happen and events like this, that seem to be so senseless. It is simply because we don't fully understand Him.

God made us stupid little monkeys, in hopes that we could understand Him one day. It may not be until we reach the end of our own lives until we understand His plan. We are not supposed to though. It puts us on the same plane as Him. We are to experience life, which includes death and heartbreak. We cling to each other now, and appreciate each person around us during this time. But aren't we supposed to always do this for every moment in our lives?

If we could go back to the pregnancy, and still give thanks, and remember the miracle He gave to us. If we could just remember, we were so fortunate to have ever had this baby girl, even for one moment. If we could just go on, without the need for reason or answers, it would be so much easier to comprehend and go on with our lives. The devastating emotions are so hard for the young parents, family and friends to bare. To think we may all always be stupid little monkeys, constantly searching for the answer for the rest of our lives. Of course, we know what is best for us, and how the universe should be. If we think this world should never have been without her, no matter what God thinks or does, it puts us in the position of the Supreme Truth. Personally, I don't want that responsibility. I still believe in life and I must continue to respect that life is given and taken by God.

As time eases our pain, we will be looking around the corner for the small fleeting moment of happiness we once knew when she was here. We will go on, knowing the happiness does exists and we could possibly have it again. It will not be the same, but the joy will come again, in God's time.