FUN TIMES 50

At the end of the week, we will be traveling with people we love - two other couples that mean the world to me [us], with one of the five being my older brother. You would think any woman would be apprehensive about being with two other women in a different city, where we can’t escape from each other, but, in this case, each personality has their own personal duty. I’m trying not to have expectations, but one woman is known for kindness, the other is known for practicality, and I will be making them both laugh. (I think I have the easiest job.) The only responsibility we will have is to eat, drink and enjoy each other’s company.

Plans have been made and everything has been reconfirmed, to celebrate my upcoming 50th birthday. I just didn’t want the party thing, and thought this would be more fun, plus the fact I don’t have to call the caterer and clean up after everyone leaves.

Though we will also be with mates, I am getting excited to be with these two beautiful ladies. I am trying to have no expectations, and knowing the three of us are in similar places in life, it makes it easier to think about the fun and laughter that is inevitable, sharing our common experiences. I thought I would feel a bit resistant, as I love to go places, but hate the travel end of it. The airports, planes, and drivers relinquishes control to the experience and talent of another person. Instead, I am finding myself getting excited to be with the two [five] of them.

At a crossroads in my life, I will have to make some significant decisions when we return from this trip. Over the past week, I have discussed these upcoming options with the people closest to me, in my home circle, and they seem to now understand some of the upcoming changes. It’s funny how you think you need to seriously get your point across, but if they love you unconditionally, it is so much easier. They seem to want to hear what tier in life you are on, and where you want to step next, and really care about you and your plans ahead.

Life seems so full of adventures lately, flying by the seat of my pants. With a few haunting upcoming uncertainties, this trip represents so much more to me than the other traveling friends realize. I’m not sure whether it will be the right time to share with them on this upcoming trip. I would rather keep my attitude light, and possibly the traits of kindness and practicality of these two fine ladies rub off on me. Seeing the ripple effect of the pebble in the water may be just what I need right now. The contagious positive attitudes of these two friends may help me better see things in the right perspective.

I guess I do have some expectations of this trip and the people after all. I think it’s because outside the home circle, these are the people I trust the most outside my personal home enclosure of security. They have all laughed and cried with me, given and taken advice, we’ve had our shoulders, both ways, to lean on when life gets a bit difficult. They don’t yet know of the fun and friendly pact we are going to make with them en route to the hotel. LOL! As I said, I am in charge of the laughter, so I am ready to initiate it. : D

Yes, I guess I do have expectations, though I’d like to say they are minor for this trip. I now know, at this age, there is not a lot of time we all get here on Earth, and it ticks away faster with each birthday. We need to be open, and kind, and practical. We need to spend quality time being with people we love, and who love us back, even if it means dragging everyone’s ass out of their secure safety zones. We’ll leave the kids, work, vacuum cleaners, dirty laundry and other little woes behind, knowing they will be there when we return. We’ll make new memories of a great adventure, so we can take these memories with us on life’s journey ahead.

My only expectation is to have fun with people I love.

BLURRY DOUBLE VISION

As you age, the double standards list gets longer between men and women. I’ve always said, if a man is assertive in the business world, he’s merely assertive, or a “go getter”. If a woman is assertive, she’s a bitch. There are a couple of other observations I have noticed lately I’d like to add to the list.

* If a man is large, in a certain area, he is well endowed. If a woman is, she has a nice rack, huge hooters or a great set of happy sacs.

* If a man seems structured, he is organized. If a woman is efficient, she is neurotic.

* If a man is not feeling well, he is sick. If a woman isn’t feeling well, it’s PMS.

* If a man poses nude, he’s a stud. If a woman poses nude, she’s a slut.

* If a man eats during the Super Bowl or other sporting events, it’s called snacking, and implies male bonding. If a woman does, it’s eating bon-bons, and implies we are lazy, fat asses.

* If an older man dates a younger woman, we are back to stud. If an older woman dates a younger man, they are cougars or have boy-toys.

If a man declares what he wants, he is being straightforward. If a woman says what she wants, men believe the opposite.

The list goes on, but I’m sure the opposite list exists, with a whiff of more testosterone coming off the page. I just think portraying women as lazy, slutty, neurotic bitches with big butts is not the way to go, especially since we are the main source of information for raising the world’s sons. The First Amendment protects people with the right to free speech, however, it does not cover slander. (Yeah, well check it out.) So, the question comes back to why would so many women put up with this kind of double standard?

Simplistic behavior deserves simplistic answers. The truth is, we women don’t really care. We rule the world, and all of us know it. If there isn’t a woman in your household or life, telling you what to do, most likely, you are in complete chaos, with very few exceptions. All males and females know this, but we let you think there is a public tug of war going on here.

We have the whole package, wrapped up and tied with a bow, for most heterosexual men. Men want a chip off the ole block, but don’t want to change the diapers. You want to talk, but not so much listen. We have the children, the natural ability to nurture and, yes, the boobs. We’ve all been taught by a slew of women, some even directly related to you, over many generations. We’ve taken notes and passed them along, down to the most minute details.

There are many young people in our lives, our children and friends of our children, hitting the ages of 20 to 30 years old. When the marriage proposal goes down, all hell breaks loose. The male may think he knows when they’re getting married, but as soon as he gets off his bended knee from putting the ring on her finger, the decision turns to the future bride, her mother and sisters. Every female, on both sides of the families, is called into immediate action. It’s kind of a sorority, where the older females show the newly engaged female what the hell is up.

The wedding takes place (of course, with the groom with only a slight hangover from tying one on, and the bride becoming the new monster, Bridezilla), on the date made by the women folk. Down to the stitch of his tuxedo, most everything is planned, arranged and told to the men folk. Where to live, when to have babies, what Church and school they will attend, and even what everyone will wear and eat becomes the woman’s responsibilities, in most homes. Thank God grass grows, as the male gets to crank up a loud ass machine every Sunday and drown out the noise from the female and children.

One example is when the dance recital is squeezed between a Little League baseball game and the PTA meeting, you better have the camera in hand. We will shop for the best price for this camera, clip the coupon for an additional $10 off, shop the sale, charge the batteries, read the manual and translate the easy way for you to use it, send in the warranty card, and show you how to post on the internet for all to see, but it’s the male’s job to take the pics.

Women have ruled the world, deep into our history on Earth. From strong First Ladies of U.S. Presidents to Senators and Congresswomen, from Queens and Royalty to ambassadors with clout and stature, with some being regal and some a little embarrassing, it doesn’t take much effort to find the woman’s place in history.

Besides the fact that the Old and New Testament are chock full of women - some even being the beautiful, saintly and gentile type. Still planning the wedding functions, Mary, not asked, but told our Lord to change the water into wine. Among some of the strong women of the Bible (Ruth, Naomi, Deborah, Miriam), add proof to the fact strong women exist everywhere and anywhere, despite cultural difference of the times. Some more pious, and some taking a stand, but all very determined women, with the outcome of their choices, and not of their male counterparts.

There is a small percentage of woman in the Catholic Church, who want to argue the 2000 year old liturgy and tradition of having female priests. Pardon me, but WTF! There are many reasons this is a ludicrous statement, but one personal reason, screams at me. In the Confessional, I do not want a woman in there, hearing me say this or that.

Those fat ass, lazy, bitches would have my sins printed in the weekly bulletin! (Ooops!)

SAY WHAT YOU WILL

When I was young, my attitude of life inside our home was the complete opposite of what my attitude was outside to the world. It had to be like this, because inside those doors were so different than most of the people in the world.

I have come to know, finally, how to be choosier, and select more of a quality of person I want to spend time. It doesn’t matter if they smoke or drink; it doesn’t matter if they are wealthy or juggling finances; it doesn’t matter if they are plump or athletic; it doesn’t matter what faith they have in religion or politics. It has become so simple, I sometimes question myself if it has always been this easy.

I now make my choices based on how many lies I’ve heard from their mouths, in a certain period of time. Then, if they are humbled, if busted in one of these lies. These two traits seem to tell so much about a person, and who they are, down to the very crux of their sincerity, passion and empathy for others.

Everyone searches for the truth, because truth gives us so many valuable instruments in life that we need. We need truth for security, love, trust, and stability, which leads to happiness. We need truth to safeguard ourselves and to protect the people we love around us. When the truth is finally detected from a wall of lies, we need to feel their humility, to help us heal and repair ourselves, and to regain the respect of the original liar.

Sometimes the people are family, sometimes they are friends, and sometimes they are our government. When the disconnection takes place, others may wonder what the rest of the world thinks about them. Some may care why a person chooses not to be with their father, a mutual friend or why they are on a different side of the fence as them. The people who wonder should ease off, and realize it may be just, and they may never know the reason.

We have come to be a society that points fingers, make quick accusations and has very little trust in other people. Allowing people to make these decisions and omit certain people from their personal lives or sever relationships, without the backlash of bantering and gossip, leads to another level of peace. Trying to convince me another person is guilty of something, is fruitless and quite ignorant.

There are some who will bash somebody else, to steer others away from peeking into the window of their own inadequate lives. Pointing out faults of specific people is the most narcissistic and deceitful attitude of all. This is the worst kind of life to lead, because as a child, I came from this type of home. I can identify it very easily. If I notice it within a child from this type of home, I will always befriend this child. It pangs me to see this, and know if I share an iota of friendship with them, it may give them a small speck of hope love exists in this world, beyond the doors of their own home.


I now see the life outside my home the same as inside my home. I try not differentiate away from the old Golden Rule, to treat others respectfully, and keep my attitude in check in both places. I will continue to maneuver myself away from the poison of untruthful people. Whether some agree with me or not, it gives me peace instead of insecurity. The ripple effect happens with either emotion, and would rather it be with peace.

"Say what you will, good love is hard to find, I've had my fill of the hurtin' kind." -- E.C.