NEW HISTORY

History in the United States begins tomorrow. Bouncing off MLK's Birthday and this holiday's celebrations, our country will swear in the first African American President in our country's short history.

No matter which candidate we voted for, it's time to be Americans and support the U.S. Presidency and all the freedoms the office represents to us. Many people are posting comments about Barack Obama, his family, some making comparisons to other historical figures. I don't agree with everyone, but I do wish him (and his family) the best, and hope he is open minded to other's opinions, views and experiences. I think his eyes have opened up a bit in the past month, as President Bush shares all the necessary information with the President-Elect. No longer does he expect his promises to happen right away, but "within a year or two or longer". Of course, the job always looks easier when you are at a campaign rally with admiring people chanting your name. I hope he will be able to gracefully handle the challenges of being President, husband, father and all the other many "jobs" he has in his life.

It seems Mr. Obama is looking to President Lincoln and has attached himself to him. Fellow Illinoisians, he made his first announcement for candidacy in Springfield, Lincoln's birthplace. He took his wife and two daughters on an private outing to the Lincoln Memorial, before the crowds came into D.C. Mr. Obama has used a couple of quotes from Lincoln's famous speeches. He will be using President Lincoln's Bible tomorrow, when he takes the oath of office. (The only contradiction I see is President Lincoln was the first Republican President of the U.S.) I hope he is a comparable president to Mr. Lincoln, consistent in proclaiming fairness and freedoms to all people, and determined to make a mark in history on ALL human rights issues, no matter what others say.

The media is all lit up with this historical event. Back to back from Dr. King's birthday celebrations, people are flocking to our nation's capital, most without tickets to any of the events, just to be there and be a part of history. It's amazing to see Americans pull together like this. This country hasn't experienced such party commaradarie since we were all saddened by President Reagan's death and funeral.

Americans are so fickled, as the conservative and liberal views ebb and flow like the ocean. One point of view flows in as the other goes out, and then the tide changes. The supporters are in full force this week, but soon, some will be the critical fools again, pointing fingers and wanting the President to do some things differently. We have to realize, although the President seems to run the country, the forces of the Senate and Congress can really stop progress. If the President has any staff or cabinet members, not fully supporting the President, the progress can also slow down. Good intentions and promises in the campaign quickly become haunting for the President.

It seems the best approach would be for every American to be consistently backing the PRESIDENTIAL OFFICE. If we could all stay together, we could possibly come together and solve a few of our problems over the next four years.

Though Mr. Obama was not my candidate, there he is, ready to be sworn in tomorrow as our nation's next leader. No matter which party you belong to, no matter what your opinion is, and no matter what you believe is correct or right, I hope every American begins to support the American Presidency, and uses this new beginning to stop the nonsense of blame, questioning integrity or criticizing stupid and insignificant events. The job seems hard enough without the all the bullshit and whining, with one particular talk show "stars" are acting like they're in middle school. The new President Obama seems to be taking his position seriously, and entering this office with respect and dignity. He is making history by being our first black President. He has a beautiful family and loves them dearly, which is one of the best successes in life, in my opinion.

With either candidate, history was going to happen. I will watch and hope, as all Americans should. I will pray for the new President Obama and his family, with all the upcoming changes they will make for serving the people. I hope he sees the need for the education for our children, the struggle of the American family and challenges of the small business person. Most importantly, I hope he hears the cries of the poor, unborn and desperate, in our country and around the world.

REENTRY

Juggling pills and medications lately has been difficult. I can keep up the count, but there is so much a body can take. So far, the treatment this past week has shot down my saliva glands, a symptom I've learned to live with. A dry mouth and throat often cause sudden coughs and chokes. Achy joints are worse, but I'm not sure whether to blame the treatment or just getting older. Hair a little thinner, but easily hidden, and dryer skin needs to be reconditioned.

Now that all the procedures are completed, and as I wait for the results, I dry the tears of worry and start living again. Plans need to be made for the next few weeks, and I am looking forward to getting back to my old routine.

To raise my spirits out of the tempoary pity party, I've listened to a few people this week, tell me what has been going on in their lives. The most interesting call was from my sister-in-law. She went to her brother's Senator Inaugaration, the Inauguration Ball and the accompanying festivities. She said everything was wonderful and magical, and she was so proud of him. I was matched up at my brother and sister-in-law's wedding (many years ago) with this man, only because of our heights. Over the years, he has proved to be a distinguished man with wonderful accomplishments and has a beautiful family. I've always been extremely fond of his wife, who I once went "cow tipping". (Yes, I swear!) When we see each other now, he's a little embarrassed for us and the two of us ladies uncontrollably giggle. I can only assure you that we never hurt a single cow. Everything else about that evening has remained a secret. : )

Another interesting telephone call was from The Baby. Majoring in philosophy in college, she was thrilled to have three classes this semester devoted to her major. One course has the only objective to find the meaning of life. (Again, I swear!) She is as excited as I've ever heard her. Being young, she has an opened mind to accept the challege of finding the answer before May, when the semester ends. : )

Hopefully, she will figure out that the meaning of life is whatever it gives you for that particular day. All the struggles or worries are only counter balanced with the giggles and sweeter memories. Each day is as easy or difficult as we want it to be. Nothing is this life is planned and we must break open each day as a new beginning, no matter what has happened yesterday or what will be tomorrow.

I am excited to get back to the routine, and some form of normality, by planning the weeks to come. Another call from The Baby was about our upcoming trip to Cleveland. She may try to figure out the meaning of life, but I will try to show her the simplicity of life next week, as we travel to the cold ass tundra. There is snow on the ground, and tonight the city is expecting another six inches. I've made the promises of being with big sister, vegan hot chocolate, a warm quilt on her bed and snow angels. Maybe it's just as simple as this.

One more day of isolation and I will be able to rejoin the spinning world and Monday will begin a new beginning. Not knowing everything is not as scary as last week because I now realize there is no changing what happens -- it's all up to my attitude and how I live the day. It is not to question why we are here, but to try to make the best of what we have. I hope I don't forget this by Monday morning.

A CRAPPY WEEK

There is a physical struggle with illness, of course, but the emotional and spiritual struggle is by far the harder battle. The head games we put on ourselves is to believe in other people in charge of our own body. Yes, we have a lot to do with it, but when it comes to trusting doctors, nurses and priests/clergy, our illness becomes part of other peoples' responsibilities. We must also trust in loved ones, when they speak to us and hold us close to them, believing in their love and kind words. We have to trust these people know what they are doing and talking about. We have to trust enough to let go of our care and turn it over to another human's knowledge, experience and compassion.

I hate this week, because I am again, going through the daily visits to the hospital to prepare myself for a cancer treatment. I've tried to prepare my mind and body over the past month. I've gotten back to my cardio exercise to relieve stress, and the special diet to prepare my body for the radioactivity and body scan. The past two mornings, I've been to the hospital for injections and a sonogram. Unlike any other visit, the one this morning made me nauseous to the point of pulling over on the side of the highway to expel my morning coffee, being eyed by morning traffic rubber neckers to get a closer look. It was not really embarrassing, as I believe none of the people knew me personally, and I was just an oddity for them, on a normally boring commute. The physical part passes fairly quickly, and I was able to get back into the car and make the drive home.

The mental part is much tougher. Tomorrow, I will take the dreaded "poison pill", filled with radioactive iodine. Again, like last year, I pray the pharmacist who carefully measured the dosage will have a wonderful evening with his spouse, a good night's sleep, and no traffic troubles in the morning. I will knowingly and willingly take the poison, in hopes that the body scan on Friday is clear of any cancer. The poison is handed to me in a cup, as no one in the hospital will handle it or have their skin in contact with it. For a split second before swallowing, I wonder if the poison is lesser than the cancer. I pray again, in this quick moment, hoping my doctor is as good as I think he is, and his adamant knowledge of the lesser of these two evils is this untouchable poison, I will swallow and it will spread inside my body.

I will stay in isolation, as a temporary prisoner in my home, worrying and wondering if all is alright. With the promise of a two year reprieve (instead of one year) if clean, I am very anxious for the results, which create more head games within myself. Being extra cautious, I will stay away from people I know, as some have small children and a couple of young friends are pregnant. To me, there is no sense in taking any chances at all, and though some don't know or understand my absence, I do.

I begin again every year, and each time my faith is tried. It comes through for me every time, whether it is faith in another person taking care of me, faith of a loving friend, my faith in God or faith in the future. Everything has to be okay. If things do not turn out the way I expect, I don't think there really isn't anything else I could have possibly have done to make it different or better.

So, I will push myself back to normal where and when I can. For the people who know me well, it usually begins with my sense of humor. It has kept me balanced, and has offset the lower days. For instance, two years ago, several days after my isolation period, I laid in bed next to RT one evening. I told him I was nervous about the dosage the hospital had given me, I still felt radioactive and asked him to take a look at my legs under the quilt. I lifted the blanket and quiet ole RT let out a small yelp when he saw my legs glowing bright green. I had taken a glow stick and cracked it, just before he came to bed. (Ha Ha Ha!) Over the past few years, I've gotten to know the nurses in the hospital. One older lady, Jenny, has been especially kind to me. I may have to sneak a glow stick into the hospital on Friday.

2008 BEAT ME UP A LITTLE

My New Year's resolution began in December, because for me, it's much easier just to continue with it. I don't have the pressure on New Year's Eve in front of friends (witnesses), with champagne clouding my mind, blurting out some empty promise I'll never fulfill.

There are so many things I've learned in the past year. It has been a roller coaster of personal emotions and events in my life in 2008, with too many things to list. My ass hurts and I'm a little banged up with all the bumps that came with last year. With the blessings of a kid married and another out of college, of the business soaring, the elections now history, and some intimate self reflection, these items were fairly easy to realize. It seemed to grow more than other years past, though it looks like a simple list.


* The older I get, the more I realize sleep is underrated.

* Do not get upset at acquaintances, because they really don't know you well enough to speak about you, like your true friends do. Whatever they say, good or bad, is pure speculation, and should be ignored, and it's is really none of your business.

* You can never know how to walk in another's shoes. Everyone should be allowed, without explanation, to behave or speak as their life experiences have lead them, even if they are hurtful or weird. Keep your heart opened to every human you meet.

* Forgiveness, acceptance and evaluation need to be a part of my life.

* Though life is busy, continue to try to maintain all of your wonderful relationships with family and friends. Sometimes, love is hard work.

* As soon as happiness leaves, sadness takes over and vice versa.

* The unexpected will always happen when you least expect it. : ) Be ready with Plan B or don't bitch about it.

* The "KISS" policy should be lived everyday -- Keep It Simple, Stupid.

* "Is it live or is it Memorex?" is more than an ad campaign. Be sure what you are looking at is real and not an imitation.

* Trust intelligent people, though you may want to disagree. They are the ones who have learned from education, experience and/or a loving mother.

Without question, faith is the best gift I've ever received.

If I could just get my brain to remember this small list, and be more prepared for what life throws at me, maybe I could have a marshmallow year in 2009 with a softer landing.